After twenty five years of teaching, nearly forty years of marriage, two children, two new grandchildren and retirement I wanted to become a volunteer but doing what? The North Somerset Life magazine gave the answer as the advert for HomeStart volunteers drew my eye. Six years on and I am now supporting my eighth family and in very different times during the Covid-19 pandemic. The usual physically close relationship one develops with a family playing with the children, changing nappies, helping feed the babies and being a shoulder to cry on all suddenly stopped.
I’d visited my most recent family about five times when lockdown started. I’d quickly got to know the dynamics although I’d only met Angi and the two year old a few times. A good rapport had developed and I was welcomed in to play and trusted to hear about Angi’s incredible life story and her difficult medical history.
Now that Angi is at home with the four children running the home, doing the home schooling, all the usual home tasks and managing pain and other medical conditions. I asked myself, how can I possibly help over the phone?
Our one to two hour weekly phone calls have allowed me the privilege of hearing more of Angi’s story and to listen to the frustrations of managing four children in a confined space and keeping them on task and completing the school work to a high standard. She has told me that this opportunity to have ‘Me Only’ time to offload is an emotional release. The comfort received and trust Angi must have in me is humbling. We both look forward to the calls – yes we miss the personal contact but I feel that in some small way I am helping a family navigate lockdown. The resilience Angi has shown and determination to ensure her family are not compromised by her condition are remarkable and our weekly calls enable me to reinforce this to her. The change in her voice between the start of our call and the end give me some reassurance that our chats are helping lift the load and reassuring Angi she is a great mum
I’ve managed to drop off birthday cakes, a table for outside dining and activities for the children whilst following lockdown rules. I’ve even tried to help with the maths homework and encouraged Mum to contact the school for additional advice regarding differentiation of work. And there have been a few extra calls to allow mum to talk through medical appointments too. I hope I have been beneficial to help the healing process.
What do I get from the volunteering? An opportunity to learn about another family – in this family I’ve learnt about a different cultural background and how people manage personal difficulties with such positivity and wanting to give to others. This chance to use the knowledge and skills I have acquired during my life so far and to share them with other families in a non judgemental way is an honour.